I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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