I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
