I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
