Your face is a jimmy john
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize