are you so shy because you have an std?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
