dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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