you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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