Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
