Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
