there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
