dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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