Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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