just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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