I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
