weddingsv make me drug and hornr
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize