Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize