physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
