I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
