We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Success! We fucked roommates!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
