I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
