The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
