How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
