She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
