I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
