Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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