Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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