My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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