I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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