If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
