This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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