I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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