you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
