I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
