I want to have your abortion
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize