I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
only you would photoshop your dick
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
