So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
