shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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