According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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