dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I need moral support for this bender
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
