one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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