false alarm. still invincible.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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