I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top