she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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