Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
