tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
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I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
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multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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