So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
