it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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