Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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