I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
