I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
