She said her name was "party"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
