Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
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i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
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Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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