She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If its not for food we ain't going out.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
