Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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