someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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