I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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