i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
