I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My vagina is very pro this idea
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
